Thursday, 10 May 2007

No Tears HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

Close your eyes and imagine your average city street, moderately busy, with people walking here and there minding their own business. Imagine the sunlight glinting off shop windows as the shopkeepers busy themselves with the day's work. Imagine finding a bit of peace and tranquility in that moment, as you direct your gaze down the street, taking in colours, shapes, and people, blending into a harmonious memory in your mind. Then just as you prepare to walk away, something catches your eye. A shadowy fiqure, in black coming towards you.....

'HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!'

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This scene always cracks me up... *ahem, ahem* Okay, I know that people are not always happy and they are not always in the best of moods. Well then, this is where I introduce my very own version of medicine, that is, PURE LAUGHTER!!! (Doctor Symeon's approval included! HOOOOO~) [WARNING! I do not imply any joke or ridicule to anyone who feels strongly about the below. If you do not like it, I'm sorry. That also applies for the prodigious amounts of HOOOOOOO!!!!s below. =p]

Welcome to my entry about one of the most entertaining fellas on the planet, namely, from downtown Osaka.... RAZOR RAMON SUMITAMI-des! HOOOOOO!!! (No relation to famed superstar Scott Hall of WWE fame) This wacky fella is also known as the one, the only......

HARD GAY!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!

Alright, Hard Gay (pronounced Hardo Gae, Hardo Gaei, Hardo Gei.... watever, you get the idea) or simply called HG, is a Japanese wrestler and comedian. Coming on regularly on the Japanese show called Bakusho Mondai no Bakuten, he is now a celebrity in Japan, loved by the people and the media for his crazy antics, ridiculous capers and his trademark pelvic thrusts. OKAY!!! He, my friends, is the comic relief of the Japanese people. Coming on the show with his trademark pose and with Ricky Martin's song Livin La Vida Loca coming on, he would make even a sad day into a remarkably hilarious one! As part of the show, he would often do things that would either:
A, help people out, or :
B, promote himself.
All his efforts will end up with hilarious results and lots of red faces (on the people unlucky, I mean lucky enough to interact with him.) Alright, for example: he devotes an entire afternoon helping out people in the episode 'Hard Gay and Social Improvements'. Events include helping a man to carry crates of beer into a van, helping a lady to give out tissues (Hard Gay Tissues? lolz), helping a street performer to get more attention on the streets (or more likely making people looking at him with giggles and avoiding both of them, for OBVIOUS reasons), and manning a gas station for the owner ('Welcome to Hard Gay Stand, HOOOOOO!!!').
In some episodes, he looks for children with aversions to some food (OKAY! This time it is GREEN PEPPERS! *pulls out a green pepper out of the front of his hotpants* Errrrr, maybe the kids shouldn't see this...) How does he do this? Why, first, by setting the mood! Music please! Errrrrrrmmmm, don't bother trying to see what the lyrics are, you REALLY don't want to know... HEHEHEHE.... And if setting the ambience dosen't get the job done? Then it is time for HARD GAY COOKING! He cooks up a simple meal using the said food, and the kid eats it. Success! In yet another episode, he helps an ailing ramen (Japanese noodle) restaurant get business by giving out flyers (Come to Hard Gay's Ramen Restaurant, you have the choice of your favourite noodles being Hard, Hard or Hard. XD).
As for his promotional stunts, he once mentioned a company using his trademark HOOOOO! without his permission. The company, of course, is YA-HOOOOOOO! XD Then he insists that Yahoo! allows him to be in one of their promotional advertistments. Going up to Yahoo! Japan headquarters, he then proceeds to 'convince' them to do his ad.And in the end, this is the result :
Ermmmm.... I rest my case. In another episode, he claims that he, being Razor RAMON, and a television magazine, being LEMON, he HAS to get the magazine to use him as a cover model(???? Logical? *shrugs*). He then invades the month's photo shoot and humorously blotches up the shoot with certain, ah, 'parts' of his anatomy (now, look at the video before you start commenting, you perverts! =P) till he gets his way. In yet another episode, he uses singer Hiromi Go (who happens to sing a Japanese version of Livin La Vida Loca AND is also 'HG') in a promotional video, all without the singer's knowledge. WAHAHAHAHAHA.! In yet another one, he invades toy company TOMY to make them produce this:


A Hard Gay version of TOMY's best-selling toy, Pop-Up Pirate! Hahahaahaha, what a whacko! He even challenged TOMY's CEO to a game just to make him do it! (P.S. It seems that this particular edition of the toy was sold out at an unbelieveable speed, so TOMY was grateful to him after all.)

Well! If I were to start telling all of you all his exploits, then there won't be any end, so watch the episodes yourself! They are on Youtube, and if you want subtitled ones from the source, the link can be found below:

http://www.bakakage.net/

Well, it's time to go! Sleep HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Other facts : Hard Gay is actually NOT gay, he married a swimsuit model and has a kid and he has a degree in Commerce (!). He once wrestled in a team with RG (Real Gay), another wrestler before his retirement from wrestling, though he was involved in Japanese wrestling show HUSTLE! for a few of their shows. Hard Gay products are selling like hotcakes! WHOOOOOOO!!!!

3 comments:

sckhsmc2007 said...

Ahooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

He's definitely better than that guy in 300!

This is Mazdaaaa! This is Hondaaaa! This is Driftaaaaaaaa!!

And of course - This is Prataaaaaa!

Hardogae rox my socks!

Muahahahaha... spity some ppl don't have too much of a snack for his humor muahaha... spity! =P

mattleon87 said...

wahahahahaha.... of course Hardo Gae ROCKS!!! OKAY... lolz Those people just can't appreciate his humour and his excellent acting skills.... So, what do we do? Just IGNORE HOOOOOOO!!! XD

sckhsmc2007 said...

Ahahahaha... that's right!

Let them pang their pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...i

muahahaha... =P