Feelings

What are feelings? Ever felt like asking that question? Medically and scientifically, it is controlled by a part of the brain that is the most underdeveloped, and maybe that accounts for why we have the least control over it. Yeah, but what are feelings?

Well, feelings are like dreams. Who has ever heard of life without dreams? Dreams keep you sane, dreams tell you things that are about to happen (I get those often, the so-called deja vu), dreams, sometimes, for people gifted with prophecy by God, tell them what God wants them tell others. And then there is the other type of dreams, the dreams that drive you, the ambition that directs your acions and which you work hard for.

Do you know the true meaning behind your dreams? Sure, sleep researchers or even old wives tales say that dreams tell you if you're stressed, you're tired or you're scared, but I don't think dreams do just that, right? Dreams are so vivid, so detailed, so... ALIVE. And what about dreams of ambition? Easily explained? Well, you dream to become somebody, but why? because you want to have that wealth or respect? Why again? Because people around you do the same? Or is it because you want to leap-frog over them in that aspect? Alright, easier question: would you be satisfied after you get that? And will you really be content that you became what you become? Some would say yes, some would say no, and others... won't know.

And that is what feelings are, or really, in essence. Feelings are so unreliable in life, they cloud up the things you see, and even for the things you do see, they are distorted. But that again, feelings also keep you the way you are. True, feelings alone make a mess out of things, but solid logic and reasoning without feelings in the form of values and moral ideas (they ARE intwined and part of each other, if you bother to acknowledge it) make a man a monster capable of anything. Feelings give a context of their own to a puzzle, to a situation, to perception, and in the end, that, coupled with other things, gives you what you need to act, to feel, and finally, to care.

But then, why do feelings cause you to be hurt? Maybe it's because feelings also cause you to be happy, to feel like you belong, to feel like you have meaning in this world, to make you feel stronger than you have never been before, to make the world seem such a bright and lovely place. Maybe that is why, like our dreams, we hold on dearly to our feelings, because in the end, we know that these feelings are part of us, and it has made us into what we have become. but beware of its trap, lest it cripple you and disable you forever. But if you know in your heart that what you feel is real, and there is no way you can let it go willingly, maybe it is best to hold it close, always hoping, always searching and forever watching that horizon for what you believe in.

Man, I didn't know I could be that emo. LOLZ. Well, lessons are learnt, and maybe that will be what leads you in the future. That and feelings, I suppose. =>

A Musty Den

Ah yes, finally I return to the den. Wait, why does it smell like it was abandoned? Oh yeah...



Sorry all, but I HAVE been so very busy with studies in medicine school that I really can't find the time to blog... Or even to go to the cyber cafe regularly (connections at college... sigh, let's not go there, shall we...) But now, with the first year behind me and 6 blissful weeks of holidays in front of me... Mwahahahahahahahaha =>



Anyway, updates! Finally got a new camera, with which I shall endeavour to capture some juicy moments of my time in university life... However, don't keep your hopes up too high, I can't guarantee you much...Anyway, in this course of time, I went to Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia in Cheras (yes, my university has it's own hospital, duh!) => and the photos taken are below....







Alright, that is the building, HUGE... Took me a while before I could really find my way around the place... All wards look the same... Well, sort of. Anyway, Was clerking patients (nope, its the term for taking history [nope... Sigh, you get the idea]) for my Clinical Science module, supposedly an exposure into the world which I will end up in during the 3rd year onwards...



Had other outings during the semesters, one of which was the Khidmat Masyarakat (Community Service) project. Had a great time at FELDA, doing some clinical screenings for diabetes, a variety show, and so on and so forth...
A picture of the clinical booths we set up.... I was in charge of history taking, my 'foster brother' for the project was at blood pressure, Karen and some of the girls were at the BMI, blood glucose tests and such...



This was my group presentation, a singing presentation... Sang a medley of many songs, both english pop and some malay oldies, as well as some new ones. No, didn't win, thanks for asking...

And that will be my foster family during my stay. Really nice emak and abah, forever feeding us to the brim with my personal favourite, fried fish.. *licks lips*

Anyway, I also had what we call 'faculty night', attended by all members of my 1st year medicine faculty... But that I will write on in detail, in another post. Lolz... And so, the year passed, with new friends and new beginnings, new insights and new discoveries into the soul. Somehow, I feel it was a roller-coaster of sorts, but if I were given the chance, I'll go through it again. Thank You, God, for opening doors and leading me here. I am so blessed. :) Alright, enough babbling for now, g'nite!