Feelings

What are feelings? Ever felt like asking that question? Medically and scientifically, it is controlled by a part of the brain that is the most underdeveloped, and maybe that accounts for why we have the least control over it. Yeah, but what are feelings?

Well, feelings are like dreams. Who has ever heard of life without dreams? Dreams keep you sane, dreams tell you things that are about to happen (I get those often, the so-called deja vu), dreams, sometimes, for people gifted with prophecy by God, tell them what God wants them tell others. And then there is the other type of dreams, the dreams that drive you, the ambition that directs your acions and which you work hard for.

Do you know the true meaning behind your dreams? Sure, sleep researchers or even old wives tales say that dreams tell you if you're stressed, you're tired or you're scared, but I don't think dreams do just that, right? Dreams are so vivid, so detailed, so... ALIVE. And what about dreams of ambition? Easily explained? Well, you dream to become somebody, but why? because you want to have that wealth or respect? Why again? Because people around you do the same? Or is it because you want to leap-frog over them in that aspect? Alright, easier question: would you be satisfied after you get that? And will you really be content that you became what you become? Some would say yes, some would say no, and others... won't know.

And that is what feelings are, or really, in essence. Feelings are so unreliable in life, they cloud up the things you see, and even for the things you do see, they are distorted. But that again, feelings also keep you the way you are. True, feelings alone make a mess out of things, but solid logic and reasoning without feelings in the form of values and moral ideas (they ARE intwined and part of each other, if you bother to acknowledge it) make a man a monster capable of anything. Feelings give a context of their own to a puzzle, to a situation, to perception, and in the end, that, coupled with other things, gives you what you need to act, to feel, and finally, to care.

But then, why do feelings cause you to be hurt? Maybe it's because feelings also cause you to be happy, to feel like you belong, to feel like you have meaning in this world, to make you feel stronger than you have never been before, to make the world seem such a bright and lovely place. Maybe that is why, like our dreams, we hold on dearly to our feelings, because in the end, we know that these feelings are part of us, and it has made us into what we have become. but beware of its trap, lest it cripple you and disable you forever. But if you know in your heart that what you feel is real, and there is no way you can let it go willingly, maybe it is best to hold it close, always hoping, always searching and forever watching that horizon for what you believe in.

Man, I didn't know I could be that emo. LOLZ. Well, lessons are learnt, and maybe that will be what leads you in the future. That and feelings, I suppose. =>

A Musty Den

Ah yes, finally I return to the den. Wait, why does it smell like it was abandoned? Oh yeah...



Sorry all, but I HAVE been so very busy with studies in medicine school that I really can't find the time to blog... Or even to go to the cyber cafe regularly (connections at college... sigh, let's not go there, shall we...) But now, with the first year behind me and 6 blissful weeks of holidays in front of me... Mwahahahahahahahaha =>



Anyway, updates! Finally got a new camera, with which I shall endeavour to capture some juicy moments of my time in university life... However, don't keep your hopes up too high, I can't guarantee you much...Anyway, in this course of time, I went to Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia in Cheras (yes, my university has it's own hospital, duh!) => and the photos taken are below....







Alright, that is the building, HUGE... Took me a while before I could really find my way around the place... All wards look the same... Well, sort of. Anyway, Was clerking patients (nope, its the term for taking history [nope... Sigh, you get the idea]) for my Clinical Science module, supposedly an exposure into the world which I will end up in during the 3rd year onwards...



Had other outings during the semesters, one of which was the Khidmat Masyarakat (Community Service) project. Had a great time at FELDA, doing some clinical screenings for diabetes, a variety show, and so on and so forth...
A picture of the clinical booths we set up.... I was in charge of history taking, my 'foster brother' for the project was at blood pressure, Karen and some of the girls were at the BMI, blood glucose tests and such...



This was my group presentation, a singing presentation... Sang a medley of many songs, both english pop and some malay oldies, as well as some new ones. No, didn't win, thanks for asking...

And that will be my foster family during my stay. Really nice emak and abah, forever feeding us to the brim with my personal favourite, fried fish.. *licks lips*

Anyway, I also had what we call 'faculty night', attended by all members of my 1st year medicine faculty... But that I will write on in detail, in another post. Lolz... And so, the year passed, with new friends and new beginnings, new insights and new discoveries into the soul. Somehow, I feel it was a roller-coaster of sorts, but if I were given the chance, I'll go through it again. Thank You, God, for opening doors and leading me here. I am so blessed. :) Alright, enough babbling for now, g'nite!

Home At Last!

Home sweet home! Yes, I am finally home after 2 months of wandering the streets of Kuala Lumpur... Well, actually, the streets of my college, which is nothing to shout about... Anyway, finished my formative assessment for the module (don't ask how it went, you wouldn't want to know), rushed back to the apartment to pack, and managed to put in a round of DOTA before my parents picked me up. Well, I need to de-stress too, you know? Oh, and Soon Lee, I think I pick Rouge Knight as my regular, though I like Bristleback and Lord of Olympia as well...



Hey, where am I going? Oh yes, coming home. Firstly, went to the MATTA fair in PWTC (it stands for Malaysian Travel something-or-the-other, didn't really catch the last bit) where you can find tour packages and travel flights galore... Well, my mom wanted to go, so we spent the better part of a half-hour looking for the darn parking bays, and off we went. Honestly, the extent of the thing was HUGE! Took up three halls just to fit in all the different booths and what-nots. Especially liked the Yokoso! Japan booth, with the pleasing colours and fake sakuras. They even dressed up in yukatas to make it look authentic... Anyway, after filling 2 bags with travel flyers and brocheurs (which STILL doesn't make up for the RM9 entry fee, even if we sold the whole lot to the old newspaper man...), went to Jalan Ipoh for some bak kut teh (incidently, the same joint I went to right before I went to UKM), which was simply superb! Okay, for the confused/curious, bak kut teh is literally translated as 'meat and bone tea', which means meat broiled in a sort of 'tea' made from certain herbs, absolutely mouth-watering stuff, this... Then, HOME! Oh, how glorious it is to be home, to be among family, among familiar and comforting sights, my dogs and SUPERULTRAFASTWIRELESSSPEEDS!!!! Mwahahahahaha....

Ok, lost myself there for a moment... Sorry, guys. Anyway, headed to the usual place for a lateh session with the remaining two survivors in Batu Pahat, Yeong Tai and Song Lin. Well, not for long... SL is going off Sunday, and YT is leaving Tuesday... Talked a whole load of crap as usual, before heading home... And now it's time to hit the sack, so GOOD NIGHT PEOPLE! And hello, my comfy bed! ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz......

Updates!!!! (Sort Of....)

Hi guys, here again for another update after a long hiatus of sorts... Hey, it isn't my fault that I have absolutely lousy wireless here, you know... Anyway, besides all the problems that I routinely complain about, I have had a pretty good time at the university. Besides the fact that I am getting sick of poor quality Malay food, my apartment stinks and I am feeling oh-so sleepy...... Opps, sorry, starting to rant yet again...

Anyway, I have just finished a module on Cellular Biomolecules, and had a formative assessment done on that module... Guess what? No, I didn't fail, fortunately. Not telling you the results though... =p Anyway, everything's in full swing now, Problem-Based Learning sessions (PBL) that are meant to emulate real-life differential diagnostic procedures, Clinical Skills Learning (CSL) for better history-taking and rapport building between patients and so on and so forth. Well, once you get used to it, life in university is not so bad...

Oh, and a piece of news for you people out there, we have LAN parties over here as well. No kidding. Just because we do not have constant Internet facilities dosen't mean we can't abuse, er, make use of the local networks here right? Installed Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne, so you know what is next... Played DOTA (Defence of the Ancients) till 3 in the morning, so that is that... Wasn't my fault though, my friends wanted round after round... Anyway, lucky for us the guard was nowhere in sight, or else 3 medic students walking around in the middle of the night would be hauled up to the office of Pak Kas (Prof Dr Kas), the principal of Kolej Tun Syed Nasir for interrogation (ouch!). Anyway, still surviving, and making full use out of the Monorail and taxis around to go arounf the city. Watched Perfect Stranger with a friend, and all I can say is.... If you are a Halle Berry or Bruce Willis fan, don't watch this movie, or you'll cry in frustration... 'Nuf said.

Anyway, that is all I can think about for this round... (See, I told you it isn't a good update, really!) So, take care and happy pawning, people! (Sigh, I had better delete that stupid programme soon...)

Not Been Home... =<

Yeap, I haven't been home for a month now... Normal, you might say? Agreed, except that I was SUPPOSED to be home this week, I mean I sort of had my mind made up that I would go back home this week, since after my formative assessment I had the day off, and I did not have HM this week... Hmmm? Formative assessment? Oh, that. It's the equivalent to a test, only that it comes after a module... How did I do? Good question. I came back from the assessment, tuned the radio to Hitz.FM, cranked it to full volume and sang my heart out... Any ideas on how it went then? Coupled with two of my roommates going crazy and starting to splash water at each other? Well, everybody has been saying that they will fail, but me... I think it went OK, though the allocated time was slightly short... Thank God...

Anyway, I digress. Why didn't I get myself back home? Well, it's partially my own fault, I suppose... The college debate team organized an outing... to watch Rush Hour 3! Well, I was 'seduced' by that, I guess. Well, I can always go back on Saturday, right? Wrong... Yes? The movie? Oh, it rocked! I still get a buzz seeing Jackie Chan kick some @$$ in his own, entertaining way. And I gotta admit, Chris Tucker did a great job giving the comic relief, especially in the French cabaret where he pretended to be Mr. Bubbles, the costume designer... *clears throat*

I am getting seriously sidetracked here, right? Sorry bout that... Anyway, prior to the debaters outing, went to Sungei Wang Plaza for karaoke... Unfortunately, it was fully booked till 4 pm, which meant I couldn't get to sing... =<>

Scooted off to KLCC for the movie then, using the monorail, then interchanging at the Kelana Jaya line to get there, instead of following Stella's advice and going all the way back to the faculty and getting a RapidKL bus... Hehehe... See what you can do with a map? Anyway, headed to Kinokuniya for the books (whoop! LOLZ) before meeting Stella and the others... She had a sushi buffet, the lucky girl... grumble, grumble, grumble... So we went for the movie, and I found myself next to Bernard, probably one of the most original people on the planet... Hehehe... Laughed my head off all the way back from KLCC, till I realized I lost my matrics card... Crap.

And the next day was the day. Cher Linn managed to corner me and 'convince' me to get myself to the debate training in the Bangi campus... Goodbye, home visit...=< It was slightly boring, since they talked about Human Rights! Yikes! I hate political issues... (Yes, Fea, it is! No matter what you say...) Had the talk by Fea and the other seniors before 'cabut-ing' to FGA with Prisca and Huan Ching... Nice service, with the latest songs from Hillsongs (no surprise there) and a message, followed by dinner (yay!) and cell group... not bad, if I say so myself... Lolz...

And after evading the guards again, back home for bed... And today was interesting: nothing doing! Stayed at home the whole day, watching Full Metal Panic! (again, but it's still fun) and sleeping... Speaking of home, maybe I'll have to find some time to take off for home, for real, tis time...